Why fans feel like Taylor Swift’s best friend (even if she’s never met them)
When Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced their engagement on Instagram this week, the post wasn’t just news; it was an event fans felt personally invested in. The photos of Swift showing off her new ring, paired with the playful caption “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married,” didn’t just rack up millions of likes. For many fans, it felt like they were sharing the milestone with close friends.
That sense of intimacy, even with celebrities, illustrates what University of Florida media professor Andrew Selepak, Ph.D., calls a “parasocial relationship.”
“A parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship where an individual believes that they have a connection or an understanding or a bond or a relationship with another person who most likely doesn’t know that they even exist,” Selepak said. “It’s an illusion of a relationship.”
Selepak said these kinds of bonds aren’t new; they have existed for “hundreds if not thousands of years,” often in the form of admiration for monarchs, generals or Hollywood stars. But what sets today apart is how quickly and deeply parasocial relationships form in the age of social media.
Unlike traditional celebrities, whose fame is tied to a specific skill, many influencers gain followings by sharing their personal lives in detail — from daily habits to behind-the-scenes moments.
“They provide so much of themselves on social media, it becomes easier to replicate, follow and become interested in or obsessed with their actions,” Selepak said.
That constant flow of content — morning routines, shopping trips, emotional confessions — becomes their “bread and butter,” creating a sense of closeness that goes far beyond what fans once experienced with movie stars or athletes.
And while Swift and Kelce’s viral engagement shows how parasocial relationships play out at the top level of celebrity culture, Selepak said the same dynamic is magnified among influencers with smaller, more interactive audiences.
Influencers may strengthen this sense of closeness through direct engagement, niche communities and personalized language. Using pronouns like “we” and “us” can make followers feel included, while smaller audiences increase the likelihood of replies to comments or messages, reinforcing the perception of mutual connection.
“If you have 30, 40, 50,000 followers, maybe if somebody makes a post, you do see it and you respond,” Selepak said. “And that… creates a mental impression that there is more of a connection than there really is.”
Obsessive parasocial relationships can sometimes escalate into harmful behaviors.
“That can lead to everything including people who get plastic surgery to look more like their obsession, or spending less time with family and friends because they’re so obsessed and they just want to learn more,” Selepak said.
Paid subscription services, merchandise and live events all offer ways to capitalize on that bond.
“They need their followers to feel a connection… to feel like their recommendations have great weight and value and that they are people to be trusted,” Selepak said.
He noted that fans may purchase products, attend appearances or subscribe to exclusive content as a way of demonstrating their support. And these relationships may be filling a gap left by declining in-person social networks. With fewer people participating in community organizations, religious groups or neighborhood activities, online connections can feel like a substitute, though not an equal one.
“We have a need to feel part of something bigger than ourselves,” Selepak said. “As we aren’t part of civic organizations…we still, as a species, have a need to connect with others, and I think this is a false replacement for it.”