Selfish Sex

November 1, 2006

If you’re dating someone who thinks a lot of him or herself, don’t plan on a long or very satisfying relationship. A new University of Florida study shows the greater a narcissist’s interest in sex, the less committed they tend to be in a romantic relationship. UF psychologist Ilan Shrira says narcissists view sex and relationships by what they can gain personally.

Shrira: “They don’t really view sex as enhancing emotional intimacy. They don’t have ways of maximizing emotional intimacy. So they don’t get intimate and their commitment suffers. And they usually end up in a string of short term relationships that are devoid of real intimacy.”

And it’s not just men. Surprisingly, men score slightly higher than women on the “self-absorbed” scale. Results show narcissists in both genders consider physical pleasure the most important goal of sex.

Shrira: “It seems like narcissists, whether they’re in a marriage or a good relationship, they always seem to have an eye out for alternative partners; almost out on the lookout for a better deal and they seem to do this partially as a way to enhance their status, to sort of get attention from other people.”

Experts say self-absorbed behavior should serve as a red flag of potential infidelity.